Attack of the Cannibal Pigeons

On a walk this afternoon, I came across a small group of pigeons on the sidewalk, all huddled around something, pecking feverishly.

Upon closer inspection, I saw they were all eating the discarded carcass of a fellow bird. The sight sent me into a panic.

"Run for your lives I tell you!" I screamed as I hurried down the street and away from the horrific feast. "There are cannibal pigeons on the loose!"

Struck with panic similar to my own, my fellow human pedestrians joined me in running down the street and screaming about cannibal pigeons.

Until one member of the mob stopped me and asked, "I'm sorry, did you say 'cannibal pigeons' or 'man-eating pigeons?' "

"Cannibal pigeons!" I yelped. "Bloodthirsty cannibal pigeons!"

"Bloodthirsty they may be," said the curious stranger, "but if they're merely cannibals, then we as humans are in no apparent danger."

"Actually," I said as I started to really think about the situation, "the bird they were eating may have been a chicken, so technically they may not even be cannibals. It would be like humans eating monkeys."

"That's kind of disturbing," said a second pedestrian, "but not so much that we should be screaming and running like imbeciles."

"Although," said a third member of the mob, the lovely and talented Beverly D'Angelo, "in some cultures, monkey is quite the delicacy."

"All apologies," said I. "Sorry to have bothered you all."

"We're only human," said Ms. D'Angelo. "And since we're not monkeys, who's up for some monkey barbecue? I know a great place."

"Hell, I guess it can't hurt to try," said the man who initially found eating monkey disturbing.

An hour later, I enjoyed the third or fourth most delicious monkey I'll ever eat.