Shout at the Devils: That's Me - Gene Klein, Volume 1...by Gene Klein
Joe E's Note: Today marks the debut of "That's Me - Gene Klein," our second-ever guest-written column. (Our first guest-written column, "If I Picked the 1998 Academy Awards," by Listboy, debuted a few weeks ago.) I planned on writing a short introduction about the author, Mr. Gene Klein, until he wrote me:
"Please refrain from describing me in the preamble; people will get to know Gene Klein from reading Gene Klein. That's me- Gene Klein."
So with no more ado, The Schiz proudly presents:
That's Me- Gene Klein: Volume 1
by Gene Klein
The country is so betrayed by the treason of oral sex, that they're happy enough to let a hustler steal his way to the White House, in order to restore integrity.
The new President and his friends ignore the 9/11 warnings.
9/11.
The Patriot Act.
Afghanistan.
Toby Keith, Darryl Worley and others ride a love for their country and hatred of foreigners to the top of the charts.
Journalist Daniel Pearl is murdered by his kidnappers, after being abducted in Karachi (later, journalists from various countries will be taken hostage at different junctures).
The U.S. invades Iraq to remove weapons of mass destruction (the company awarded with contracts for logistics support planning, Halliburton, was once run by Vice President Richard Cheney).
No weapons of mass destruction are ever found. Instead we find evidence of U.S. soldiers abusing and humiliating Iraqi P.O.W.s.
1000s of Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis die, due to war related activity.
For not wanting to get involved in the war, the popular news source known as the New York Post superimposes the image of a weasel over the body of France's President Chriac- and puts it on the front page. Television viewers are treated to similar displays of unbiased journalistic integrity during the "No Spin Zone" segments of the Fox News Channel's "The O'Reilly Factor" (Fox News is run by Rupert Murdoch- the same man who publishes the New York Post).
After all of the above, as well as evidence of the unconstitutional detaining of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, a senseless stagnation in the development of some of the most important scientific breakthroughs of our time (stem cell research), a surge in the movement to deny millions of Americans of their basic civil rights (homosexuals), the alienation of the United States from THE REST OF THE WORLD, the heartland of the United States of America provides President George W. Bush with a clear and decisive "mandate" to further remake the world according to his Christian (read "financial") values. Against the wishes of Bruce Springsteen!
I, Gene Klein get a bit annoyed at MoveOn, the promise of Barack Obama and the supposed revitalization Howard Dean will be to the Democratic party. Things are not getting better, they're getting progressively worse. It's not a case of me, Gene Klein being cynical; it is not pessimism, it is a logical conclusion that any logical human being will come to after looking at the facts- go ahead and read them again, is there ANYTHING there that does not illustrate the state of the world to be one of rapidly developing entropy? So save your time and anger- complaining about the government and signing those petitions to reform the electoral system/ save social security/ "tell President Bush what you think of his latest policy" won't do a Genedamned thing. Do you think the government cares about the electronic signatures of people who don't give them the billions of dollars they regularly receive from their rich friends (not Gene Klein- though I am very, very wealthy).
To improve things, you need to start lower on the food chain. Motley Crue.
Before I get to how ridding our culture of Motley Crue would be beneficial to society, let me explain why they need to be banished.
Exhibit A) Vince Neil KILLS a man, a friend of his that was stupid enough to go driving with Neil when he was drunk.
Exhibit B) Nikki Sixx causes a riot at a show on the band's 1st reunion tour (Generation Swine), when he callas an African-American security guard a nigger. He later explains that he is not a racist, but was pointing out the officer's shortcomings as a human being (for acting too harshly with some concertgoers) by labeling him with a word meant to devalue one's status as a human being, solely due to his/ her African roots. To be honest, I don't know if the riot started because Sixx called the man a nigger, or if it started independently, prompting this piece of trash to call the man a nigger. But, that's not the point. Either way, he used a word that has a sole function: demeaning one's race. In front of thousands of people, with a microphone! THEN he had the nerve to say that there were no racial overtones to his diatribe. How Klein of him.
Exhibit C) Nikki Sixx injures a fan at a Brides of Destruction show, by hurling his bass guitar at the attendee's head.
Exhibit D) Tommy Lee beats his wife.
Exhibit E) Tommy Lee beats his wife again.
Exhibit F) Tommy Lee beats the shit out of his wife.
Exhibit G) Tommy Lee thrusts against a barely conscious Jenna Jameson, so violently that the repeated motion rips out her clitoral ring.
Exhibit H) While I have no knowledge of the life and times of Mick Mars, other than a recent lawsuit and an operation, I also have no reason to believe that he's a good human being. The company one keeps . . .
And what's do they get for their misdeeds?
Another sold-out reunion tour. Supermodel wives. Reality shows (Vince and Tommy), book deals (The Dirt), movie deals (The Dirt), intercourse with Pamela Anderson, Janine, etc.
In other words, they're being rewarded handsomely for their ugliness.
Our continued adoration and spoiling of Motley Crue finely illustrates that the more heinous you act, the better your rewards. Go ahead and try to argue- I just gave you two separate sets of evidence that confirm this sad truth; the history of Motley Crue and . . . think back a couple of minutes. Who else committed/ was responsible for a batch of atrocities and was then commended for these efforts (hint: his prize was in the form of re-election)? George W. Bush and his administration! And do you know why? Because the majority of Americans are dumb? No- the majority of ANY group of citizens is usually dumb, that's not something unique to America.
It's because of Motley Crue. It's because George saw other cokeheads that got away with murder (literally), bigotry and virtual rape (virtual, because A) Bush raped a Constitution- ours- and some land- ours and Iraq's, not an actual human being, though they ARE being awfully quiet about those lost years and B) I have no evidence other than a hunch- the same smoking gun I have in the case of "what happened to my client's guitar amplifier on the night his band played Siberia?"
. . . Gene Klein digresses. That's me- Gene Klein). If Motley Crue was stopped in 1981 or earlier, there would be four less assholes setting an example for those who would happen upon the spotlight after them (such as George W. Bush). In turn, there would be less evil for the Midwestern and Southern states to reward with a mandate. And the world would be a much better place.
So again, no Motley Crue means less worrying about when you'll die at the hands of terrorists for your government's actions. I'm Gene Klein. That's me- Gene Klein.
"Please refrain from describing me in the preamble; people will get to know Gene Klein from reading Gene Klein. That's me- Gene Klein."
So with no more ado, The Schiz proudly presents:
That's Me- Gene Klein: Volume 1
by Gene Klein
The country is so betrayed by the treason of oral sex, that they're happy enough to let a hustler steal his way to the White House, in order to restore integrity.
The new President and his friends ignore the 9/11 warnings.
9/11.
The Patriot Act.
Afghanistan.
Toby Keith, Darryl Worley and others ride a love for their country and hatred of foreigners to the top of the charts.
Journalist Daniel Pearl is murdered by his kidnappers, after being abducted in Karachi (later, journalists from various countries will be taken hostage at different junctures).
The U.S. invades Iraq to remove weapons of mass destruction (the company awarded with contracts for logistics support planning, Halliburton, was once run by Vice President Richard Cheney).
No weapons of mass destruction are ever found. Instead we find evidence of U.S. soldiers abusing and humiliating Iraqi P.O.W.s.
1000s of Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis die, due to war related activity.
For not wanting to get involved in the war, the popular news source known as the New York Post superimposes the image of a weasel over the body of France's President Chriac- and puts it on the front page. Television viewers are treated to similar displays of unbiased journalistic integrity during the "No Spin Zone" segments of the Fox News Channel's "The O'Reilly Factor" (Fox News is run by Rupert Murdoch- the same man who publishes the New York Post).
After all of the above, as well as evidence of the unconstitutional detaining of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, a senseless stagnation in the development of some of the most important scientific breakthroughs of our time (stem cell research), a surge in the movement to deny millions of Americans of their basic civil rights (homosexuals), the alienation of the United States from THE REST OF THE WORLD, the heartland of the United States of America provides President George W. Bush with a clear and decisive "mandate" to further remake the world according to his Christian (read "financial") values. Against the wishes of Bruce Springsteen!
I, Gene Klein get a bit annoyed at MoveOn, the promise of Barack Obama and the supposed revitalization Howard Dean will be to the Democratic party. Things are not getting better, they're getting progressively worse. It's not a case of me, Gene Klein being cynical; it is not pessimism, it is a logical conclusion that any logical human being will come to after looking at the facts- go ahead and read them again, is there ANYTHING there that does not illustrate the state of the world to be one of rapidly developing entropy? So save your time and anger- complaining about the government and signing those petitions to reform the electoral system/ save social security/ "tell President Bush what you think of his latest policy" won't do a Genedamned thing. Do you think the government cares about the electronic signatures of people who don't give them the billions of dollars they regularly receive from their rich friends (not Gene Klein- though I am very, very wealthy).
To improve things, you need to start lower on the food chain. Motley Crue.
Before I get to how ridding our culture of Motley Crue would be beneficial to society, let me explain why they need to be banished.
Exhibit A) Vince Neil KILLS a man, a friend of his that was stupid enough to go driving with Neil when he was drunk.
Exhibit B) Nikki Sixx causes a riot at a show on the band's 1st reunion tour (Generation Swine), when he callas an African-American security guard a nigger. He later explains that he is not a racist, but was pointing out the officer's shortcomings as a human being (for acting too harshly with some concertgoers) by labeling him with a word meant to devalue one's status as a human being, solely due to his/ her African roots. To be honest, I don't know if the riot started because Sixx called the man a nigger, or if it started independently, prompting this piece of trash to call the man a nigger. But, that's not the point. Either way, he used a word that has a sole function: demeaning one's race. In front of thousands of people, with a microphone! THEN he had the nerve to say that there were no racial overtones to his diatribe. How Klein of him.
Exhibit C) Nikki Sixx injures a fan at a Brides of Destruction show, by hurling his bass guitar at the attendee's head.
Exhibit D) Tommy Lee beats his wife.
Exhibit E) Tommy Lee beats his wife again.
Exhibit F) Tommy Lee beats the shit out of his wife.
Exhibit G) Tommy Lee thrusts against a barely conscious Jenna Jameson, so violently that the repeated motion rips out her clitoral ring.
Exhibit H) While I have no knowledge of the life and times of Mick Mars, other than a recent lawsuit and an operation, I also have no reason to believe that he's a good human being. The company one keeps . . .
And what's do they get for their misdeeds?
Another sold-out reunion tour. Supermodel wives. Reality shows (Vince and Tommy), book deals (The Dirt), movie deals (The Dirt), intercourse with Pamela Anderson, Janine, etc.
In other words, they're being rewarded handsomely for their ugliness.
Our continued adoration and spoiling of Motley Crue finely illustrates that the more heinous you act, the better your rewards. Go ahead and try to argue- I just gave you two separate sets of evidence that confirm this sad truth; the history of Motley Crue and . . . think back a couple of minutes. Who else committed/ was responsible for a batch of atrocities and was then commended for these efforts (hint: his prize was in the form of re-election)? George W. Bush and his administration! And do you know why? Because the majority of Americans are dumb? No- the majority of ANY group of citizens is usually dumb, that's not something unique to America.
It's because of Motley Crue. It's because George saw other cokeheads that got away with murder (literally), bigotry and virtual rape (virtual, because A) Bush raped a Constitution- ours- and some land- ours and Iraq's, not an actual human being, though they ARE being awfully quiet about those lost years and B) I have no evidence other than a hunch- the same smoking gun I have in the case of "what happened to my client's guitar amplifier on the night his band played Siberia?"
. . . Gene Klein digresses. That's me- Gene Klein). If Motley Crue was stopped in 1981 or earlier, there would be four less assholes setting an example for those who would happen upon the spotlight after them (such as George W. Bush). In turn, there would be less evil for the Midwestern and Southern states to reward with a mandate. And the world would be a much better place.
So again, no Motley Crue means less worrying about when you'll die at the hands of terrorists for your government's actions. I'm Gene Klein. That's me- Gene Klein.
posted by JO'B at 18:25
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